Tag: Grief

Thanksgiving Traditions

Carol Griesmeyer

Let’s look at a few of our common traditions.

Traditions are part of the Metal element. It is doing what is expected at the right time. There is a certain rigidness to traditions. In many families it is a tragedy that you break traditions. It is a time of solidarity, carrying on what has held you together for generations.

Gathering with family

This can be a huge Hurray! or a bigger Ugh!

Not everyone likes their family members. You didn’t come with any guarantees when you were born including the concept of ‘happy family’. For you it may only be a vegetable dish you get in a Chinese restaurant. If you really don’t like the experience maybe this is the time to create your own tradition with a ‘new’ family. As our society has dispersed across the country for school, jobs, relationships it is time to focus on the positive that we do have. Coworkers new to the area with no one to celebrate with, parents alone with kids having to work or vice versa. We can use this time to make new connections, family. We don’t have to feel alone or isolated because we can’t or want to go back home. We can celebrate fully right where we are now.

Eating turkey.

The Pilgrims may or may not have really done this but the fall harvest is something to celebrate. We take a review of all we have acquired during the past year and share the bounty with those feasting with us. It is more than the food we have put aside for getting through the winter. It can be a pay raise, change in jobs or a new home or relationship. These are all something to celebrate and be grateful for.

Holidays and Grief

If you are the one usually in charge of organizing the feast and you are grieving the loss of a love one, just say NO!

Let others pick up the ball, take the load off. Be clear that you need the break from the burden of doing it all but you don’t want to be left out either. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want and need.

However if you do want a breather from all the activities this year feel free to speak up for that also ,even at the last minute. It is a time for change and it will take some time to get into new patterns and feelings of security.

It’s OK to feel sad but you can also take control of your fear of sadness by setting aside a few minutes in the gathering to remember the missing loved one. Create a new tradition in which everyone can participate. Share a favorite photo or story about the person.  Let any emotion out and share in the love and support from the others in the gathering. You are probably not the only one grieving.

When it is time to leave, give yourself permission to do so. You don’t have to be the last one out the door.

In the end it is about giving thanks – for the good, the bad and the ugly. Much learning and growth can come out of loss and suffering if you allow it. Life is about growing. Seeing and appreciating new things, letting go of what is no longer needed.

Take a day and make time for this. We complain all the time of how we don’t have enough time and we are given this opportunity on a turkey platter. I say gobble it up!

The Essence of Metal

Carol Griesmeyer

This video came to me on my Facebook page the other day. It really spoke to me.

This is a time of loss and grief for everyone. We can’t not be affected by recent events.

The Metal Element which involves the Lungs and Large Intestine is about – living your values. Appreciating what you have, allowing grief to flow when there is loss. Grief must happen to keep us whole and in balance. But we cannot remain mired in it or remain a victim of circumstances. There is much learning in loss and the grief process. It can make us stronger. As we allow the tears to flow we breathe in deeply, become ‘inspired’, motivated to carry on. We re-ground, anchor ourselves and become steadfast in our values as the non-essential is released in the tears. Focus on breathing, slow and steady. Don’t be carried away by the enormity of the experience. Look inside and let yourself let go and reemerge whole and stronger.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-34862437

The Organs of Autumn – part 2

Carol Griesmeyer

Well now we get to talk about the ‘Letting Go’ organ – Large Intestine. When we talk about letting go we are not only talking about removing waste from our physical bod

transparente organe mit markiertem dickdarmy but also the toxic stuff that has collected in our spirits and mind.

Not everyone is blessed with a happy-go-lucky childhood. There can be many ugly memories of abuse or abandonment. Maybe there wasn’t always a roof to sleep under or food on the table. Even having a teacher from hell is quite disturbing for a young person to deal with. How many times were you dumped by someone special or rejected before you even got off the ground.

These experiences all leave toxic waste in us and can immobilize us for years or our entire life.

Fortunately you have the Large Intestine to help you with this. It comes to our aide after the Lungs have taken in clear qi and moves the garbage out. Now we are on the road to healing.

This is a great time for you to take an internal inventory of all the things you have been carrying around in your head – I’m no good, he/she is no good, old resentments, jealousies. These are often long standing issues you just can’t let go of or they may be relatively new. What principles were you brought up with that no longer serve you?

This is a tough season and tough organ to deal with. We don’t want to go in the cave and look at all the bad things we’ve been hauling around forever. What happens if we actually get rid of it? Who are we then? Our personal story will change, excuses will be gone. You may grieve the loss of these ideas, traditions, patterns. However, if they are no longer healthy or useful it is wise to take them out our your backpack.

Be patient with yourself.  You don’t have to have a huge purge in one day. No one is very capable of surviving that kind of experience. Take it is small steps. Continue to review issues over and over. When you stop feeling the ‘hit’ in your guts as you review each one you have probably let go of it and can move on. Sometimes this takes years – but it took years for you to get here and you will keep going. Just don’t put a cork in it.

When qi gets stuck we experience pain and discomfort or dis-ease. Use the Lungs bringing clear qi with the breath to move the qi. Allow the process to do what is knows how to do. Our egos often throw everything out of balance and we are striving for balance. Nature always wants balance.

So… just let go of non-essentials and search for your deepest values.

In celebration of Autumn

Carol Griesmeyer

“To everything there is a season….” We are deep into autumn now. In Chinese medicine this is the season of letting go.  Most of the brilliant leaves have fallen off the trees. Even in the Northwest things are starting to look a bit barren. What was a bright splash of their last glory is now naked tree limbs or plants withdrawing into the ground.

Just like the trees and plants letting go of their leaves and no longer needed parts and energy we must take a look at what we no longer need. What does not provide us with strength, helps up fulfill our purpose or drains us although we don’t want to accept that?

Each season or phase of life has an emotion. In the Fall the emotion is Grief. We may feel a sense of loss at this time of year. Think of how you may be more dowFall woods Camassia webn, depressed as the days grow shorter. We don’t want to stay inside, we want to be energized by the sun. We grieve the loss of daylight, activity and, perhaps, the moving away of people we enjoy and love.

In this season we are drawn towards introspection. Daily there is as onslaught of negativity directed at our bodies and minds.  This needs to be cleaned out – let go of the garbage. There’s more of it than you think. We live in a materialistic society, though you may try to not actively participate on a large scale. It still has influence over how you think and behave.

Now take time to look inside yourself. What would be best to release? How were you raised and what influences are there that you could let go of? Are you living your agenda or someone else’s agenda for you?

As you prepare to move deeper into your cave for the winter it is always wise to clean it out first. Explore all the ’things’ you have gathered this spring and summer. How much fun were they? Do you need to keep them? It has been fun having it around but does it really serve the same purpose? What is that purpose? Perhaps this is the time to let go in gratitude, and keep all the wonderful memories they bring. Let someone else experience the joy you felt having this item. Question it all.

If you are afraid you will offend someone by saying good-bye or spending less time with them understand that this is the season for less activity. More time for looking inward, being quieter. Talk with them and dive into what they value and discuss how it may not support you and your values any longer.

Metal is about value and purpose. Are you strong in yours? Take this time to celebrate what is great about you. Flaunt it a bit. Bring some light and bling into your life and these dark days. Remind  yourself of your uniqueness and be grateful for it. Accept praise and let it nourish you.

Fall is the time to strengthen your Metal. Bring in inspiration and let go of the unneeded.

Activities Fall woods 2 Camassia webto nourish your Metal:

Clean your desk, dining room table or a closet

Make a list of your strengths. Look at it and breathe in gratitude for what you can do and what you have accomplished. Let go of your self-sabotage.

Be grateful for all you have, what you have had and all you are.

Find time for quiet and meditate on all this.

Enjoy this season. Know that you are not alone in the challenges it brings. Keep your best assets – friends, treasures – near for support as you let go.